Do you know who you are?

naïs Nin may have thought a thousand thoughts when she uttered these gorgeous words:

“The day came when the risk to remain tight in a bud was more painful than the risk it took to blossom.”

To me, she meant having the courage to know yourself well and to live life being exactly who you were meant to be.

Just how well do you know yourself?

It stuns me to meet people who hardly know themselves. But then again, who am I to be stunned when I am yet to fully know myself too.

How I wish I knew and believed earlier in life that we could be different from the rest of the world and still be fabulous – in fact, fabulous because of it, not despite it. How badly I wish someone had told me that different means good and conformity is not for everyone. That it’s perfectly fine to explore what the heart wants and to tune out the rest of the world long enough to build a relationship with your soul. That the most beautiful thing you will ever witness in your life is when you begin to unfold into the exact person you were meant to be.

What does it mean to know oneself?

Knowing yourself is beyond figuring out your favorite color, your ideal mate, your favorite pet or everything about your best friend. We are no longer in high school – thank heavens – where being “yourself” meant being just like everyone else, acting stupid and defying our parents and teachers!

Knowing yourself is a deeper, greater and slower process. It is a road that is long and winding and you must be ready to travel it. It brings you face-to-face with your self-doubts and you need your inner confidence to push through it. But it is a journey that pays in abundance, the magnificence of this rose blossoming before you.

Knowing yourself means respecting your values in life, your beliefs, your personality, your priorities, your moods, your habits, your magnificent body, and your relationships. For me, knowing myself means devoting time to my helping people especially those in need,not necessarily financially but caring and supporting them through hard time. Doing this and so much more every
time takes me to where I truly belong.

Knowing yourself means understanding your strengths and weaknesses, your passions and fears. It means being aware of your eccentricities and idiosyncrasies, your likes and dislikes, your tolerances and limits, your insecurities and your fears.

Knowing yourself means knowing your purpose in life.

You are not born knowing yourself. You do not get to know yourself simply by growing up and growing old. Knowing yourself is a conscious effort; you do it with intention and purpose.

The earlier you discover who and what you are truly made for,the longer and better you will enjoy life. Not knowing yourself becomes obvious sooner or later. A quiet frustration lives in your heart when you do not know yourself. You may choose to live with it and ignore it – or you may choose to start getting to know yourself.

A Get to Know Yourself Mini-Guide:
1. Get to Know Your Personality:
Are you the type that needs to take personality and assessment tests before having a clue of who you are? Maybe you can just observe and listen and collect bits and pieces of the puzzle that will make the whole come clear for you. I prefer the latter but either way, get to know your personality inside out. Who are you behind your name? What are your characteristic traits? What image do you portray to the outside world? What is true nature as a person on a happy day, on a sad day, in face of a challenge or a great reward? How do you react to the world around you?

2. Get to Know Your Values: When I started working where I presently work,I was over-frustrated because things were not really working out the way I want it and I was being pushed beyond my limit(so I thought then) until one day I had a row with my boss and I afterwards felt really bad about it cos deep within I knew that wasn't me but the frustrated I harbored in my heart then. To help myself overcome all these, one of the first things did was to create a list of my values. I learned this from a great mentor once. The list of life’s core values all “sound good” but the question is which ones feed the flames of your fire? Today I am very happy under the same condition or even worst because I have accepted everyone as they are and also create an impression of who I truly am on each and everyone. I may not be your favorite,but there's certainly one thing or the other you like about me. In your work, in your home, in all aspects of your life, which ones can you not compromise on? Is it honesty, integrity, security or flexibility? Is it dedication to others, wisdom and learning, financial comfort or fun? Do you value loyalty above excellence, responsibility above ambition, or innovation above improvement?

3. Get to Know Your Body: I used to think I know my body. How silly of me! The more I learn about my body now, the more it surprises and delights me, it amazes me. Yours can too. How well do you know your body, your breathing, your limits of balance and flexibility? Or have you wrongly decided that you “can’t do this” and that your body “type” won’t do that already and thus closed the door to wonderful possibilities? Have you taken enough time to become truly intimate with the loveliest temple on earth, your own body? There was a day I fasted and I was to break by 7pm,but because there was so much work I couldn't until around 10pm in the night. That was something I never thought was possible because of how much I love food. This is just a literal example. Don't over-stress your body and at the same time don't limit its possibility. Exercise regularly and take Yoga classes,meditate a lot and try to create a balance between the states of your body,mind,soul and environment.

4. Get to Know your Moods: Your moods can be good and bad, harmful and delightful; don’t underestimate their subtle power. Get to know what frustrates you and what brings you peace. Understand what makes you react a certain way and how can you manage a poor mood at critical times in your life. Learn your best and worst moods and find ways to manage the poor ones and ways to enhance the good ones. Learn to release your bad moods through powerful sessions,meditation and mood analysis. Know why you are happy when you are and know why you are sad when you are as well. Never let people look into your face and know what you feel. Your thoughts and feeling are your greatest assets,protect them.
… your moods are not a true reflection of you and it is best you learn to change them especially if they bring harm to your loved ones.

5. Get to Know your Likes and Dislikes: Oh my favorite, what we like and equally important, what we do not like. Have you taken the time to define them just for you and not in a peer group with your friends and family? Defining your own likes and especially dislikes takes some guts. It is not “nice” to talk about our dislikes but it is far less nice to deny our true desires so choose wisely. If you do not like camping or traveling or visiting your friends in another state, don’t do it. If you love eating out or shopping online or learning Japanese or eating a raw food diet, stop making excuses to please others about your “guilty pleasures”. Stay true to your likes and dislikes.

… I really do not care for the approval of everyone to pursue everything I want in life. I don't do things to impress people but myself.
…  friends come and go no matter how much I invest in the friendships.
… I am a very sensitive person and often shy away from people not because I am bad but because no matter how much I try I can hardly sustain a relationship,be it friendship or otherwise. Over the years,a lot of people have come into my life and left not because we aren't compatible but because the relationship just faded. I am at peace with this and I love myself for understanding this and I work as much as possible to ensure I hurt less people on the way. Its hard to stay alone but come to think of it,I love writing,thinking and questioning everything. That is enough to keep my company in a lifetime. I also along the line discovered that the more I travel, the closer I get to my ideal lifestyle.
… the older I get, the closer I grow to my childhood friends.
…  Everyone seeing me making a good accountant someday but I see myself in an higher realm than that. I see myself as a figure that people will look at and be glad they heard me speak ....and be glad they read my book ... a person people can owe their success to .... So you see am still in the process too.
… I can be in love with my own dreams all my life but I can only be in love with myself when I see them come true
… giving up anything is possible when I set my mind to it and achieving everything is possible when I work towards it.
… I have let fear stop me in the past from far too many opportunities.
… I am weak at confrontation and strong at negotiation.
… I like cuisines that seemed strange to me and dislike familiarity and routine.
… I can become a writer,blogger,motivational speaker and more someday despite years of professional training and studying accounting.
… lot of people and things I see around frustrate – and even disgust – me so I often try as much as possible to stay clear of them no matter what.… I value being true to myself above everything else.

… what I believed at 16 still holds true: selfishness is a virtue and the root of all my happiness and path to my true compassion for others.

Getting to know yourself allows you to tap into the well of happiness beyond your imagination. Bliss even on cloudy days.

So go ahead. Stop waiting. Start getting to know yourself well – and I mean really well.