This entry's about fear and anxiety.
Since I love Muse theyre up first:

Thoughts of a Dying Atheist [2003]



I know the moment's near
and there's nothing we can do
look through a faithless eye
are you afraid to die?

Atheist fear death because there's nothing after it: The end is all I can see. It scarees the hell out of me.

I'm Scared by Duffy


This is about fear that arises from dealing with loss. It leaves you paralyzed when you realize how easily you can lose someone. Is it worth finding new love? [I always say it is (I mean, given that you've fought like there's no tomorrow for the love in jeopardy)]

Soldier On by The Temper Trap




This song is just beautiful. I have their other song from the same album, "Conditions" [2009] called Lost Love. The lyrics is so nice. In fact, too nice and inappropriate for this entry =). Maybe another time. I'm gonna post the entire lyrics to Soldier On. It actually get's better for me at 4:00 -- I know, quite a long song.

Who wants to know
All that is gold is rusting
No one will know
When seasons cease to change and..
How far we've gone
How far we're going
It's the here and the now
And the love for the sound
Of the moments that keep us moving

Waves crash along
The battered, lonely lighthouse
Tomorrow she's gone
And if not, someday somehow
Are these hands a waste
Well this side of mortality is
Scaring me to death
To death

Don't think about it at all
Just keep your head low
And don't think about it all

Soldier on, soldier on
Keep your heart close to the ground
Soldier on, soldier on, keep your heart
Close to the ground

Don't think about it all
Just keep your head low
Don't think about it
At all

Yeah, will you take me tonight
Yeah, will you take me tonight
Yeah, will you take me tonight
Ooh... tonight

Soldier on
Soldier on
Keep your heart
Close to the ground

Mortality--the idea that something will come to an end always scares and saddens us. Maybe it's something to grieve about, maybe it's not. Can't get my mind around to it atm although I know I have something I wanna say about it. All I can say for now is that yeah it's sad but obsessing about the end or transience won't change anything at the end of the day. If it comes, it comes. Are you trying your best to embrace whatever time is given to you? It's your fault if you let it slide and realize, shit, I'm almost dying or something.
I've come to see endpoints as startingpoints too the past year or two. I thought it was a good thing to not be so clingy and emo all the time, but sometimes it scares me that maybe I give up too easily and 'let things go' without trying much. It's hard to find balance =( At least I see beauty in short-lived things now though.

Leaving this with a little reminder by George Carlin since the obvious often escapes our mind:

"The paradox of our time in history is that we have taller buildings but
shorter tempers, wider freeways , but narrower viewpoints. We spend more,
but have less, we buy more, but enjoy less. We have bigger houses and
smaller families, more conveniences, but less time. We have more degrees
but less sense, more knowledge, but less judgment, more experts, yet more
problems, more medicine, but less wellness.
We drink too much, smoke too much, spend too recklessly, laugh too little,
drive too fast, get too angry, stay up too late, get up too tired, read too
little, watch TV too much, and pray too seldom. [<-- i'd personally revise this by switching the 'r' in 'pray' to 'l'--'play' =)] We have multiplied our possessions, but reduced our values. We talk too much, love too seldom, and hate too often. We've learned how to make a living, but not a life. We've added years to life not life to years. We've been all the way to the moon and back, but have trouble crossing the street to meet a new neighbor. We conquered outer space but not inner space. We've done larger things, but not better things. [<--too strong but we'll let it slide] We've cleaned up the air, but polluted the soul. We've conquered the atom, but not our prejudice. We write more, but learn less. We plan more, but accomplish less. We've learned to rush, but not to wait. We build more computers to hold more information, to produce more copies than ever, but we communicate less and less. These are the times of fast foods and slow digestion, big men and small character, steep profits and shallow relationships. These are the days of two incomes but more divorce, fancier houses, but broken homes. These are days of quick trips, disposable diapers, throwaway morality, one night stands, overweight bodies, and pills that do everything from cheer, to quiet, to kill. It is a time when there is much in the showroom window and nothing in the stockroom. A time when technology can bring this letter to you, and a time when you can choose either to share this insight, or to just hit delete... Remember; spend some time with your loved ones, because they are not going to be around forever. Remember, say a kind word to someone who looks up to you in awe, because that little person soon will grow up and leave your side. Remember, to give a warm hug to the one next to you, because that is the only treasure you can give with your heart and it doesn't cost a cent. Remember, to say, 'I love you' to your partner and your loved ones, but most of all mean it. A kiss and an embrace will mend hurt when it comes from deep inside of you. Remember to hold hands and cherish the moment for someday that person will not be there again. Give time to love, give time to speak! And give time to share the precious thoughts in your mind. AND ALWAYS REMEMBER: Life is not measured by the number of breaths we take, but by the moments that take our breath away." (- The Paradox of Our Time -)

This entry's about fear and anxiety.
Since I love Muse theyre up first:

Thoughts of a Dying Atheist [2003]



I know the moment's near
and there's nothing we can do
look through a faithless eye
are you afraid to die?

Atheist fear death because there's nothing after it: The end is all I can see. It scarees the hell out of me.

I'm Scared by Duffy


This is about fear that arises from dealing with loss. It leaves you paralyzed when you realize how easily you can lose someone. Is it worth finding new love? [I always say it is (I mean, given that you've fought like there's no tomorrow for the love in jeopardy)]

Soldier On by The Temper Trap




This song is just beautiful. I have their other song from the same album, "Conditions" [2009] called Lost Love. The lyrics is so nice. In fact, too nice and inappropriate for this entry =). Maybe another time. I'm gonna post the entire lyrics to Soldier On. It actually get's better for me at 4:00 -- I know, quite a long song.

Who wants to know
All that is gold is rusting
No one will know
When seasons cease to change and..
How far we've gone
How far we're going
It's the here and the now
And the love for the sound
Of the moments that keep us moving

Waves crash along
The battered, lonely lighthouse
Tomorrow she's gone
And if not, someday somehow
Are these hands a waste
Well this side of mortality is
Scaring me to death
To death

Don't think about it at all
Just keep your head low
And don't think about it all

Soldier on, soldier on
Keep your heart close to the ground
Soldier on, soldier on, keep your heart
Close to the ground

Don't think about it all
Just keep your head low
Don't think about it
At all

Yeah, will you take me tonight
Yeah, will you take me tonight
Yeah, will you take me tonight
Ooh... tonight

Soldier on
Soldier on
Keep your heart
Close to the ground

Mortality--the idea that something will come to an end always scares and saddens us. Maybe it's something to grieve about, maybe it's not. Can't get my mind around to it atm although I know I have something I wanna say about it. All I can say for now is that yeah it's sad but obsessing about the end or transience won't change anything at the end of the day. If it comes, it comes. Are you trying your best to embrace whatever time is given to you? It's your fault if you let it slide and realize, shit, I'm almost dying or something.
I've come to see endpoints as startingpoints too the past year or two. I thought it was a good thing to not be so clingy and emo all the time, but sometimes it scares me that maybe I give up too easily and 'let things go' without trying much. It's hard to find balance =( At least I see beauty in short-lived things now though.

Leaving this with a little reminder by George Carlin since the obvious often escapes our mind:

"The paradox of our time in history is that we have taller buildings but
shorter tempers, wider freeways , but narrower viewpoints. We spend more,
but have less, we buy more, but enjoy less. We have bigger houses and
smaller families, more conveniences, but less time. We have more degrees
but less sense, more knowledge, but less judgment, more experts, yet more
problems, more medicine, but less wellness.
We drink too much, smoke too much, spend too recklessly, laugh too little,
drive too fast, get too angry, stay up too late, get up too tired, read too
little, watch TV too much, and pray too seldom. [<-- i'd personally revise this by switching the 'r' in 'pray' to 'l'--'play' =)] We have multiplied our possessions, but reduced our values. We talk too much, love too seldom, and hate too often. We've learned how to make a living, but not a life. We've added years to life not life to years. We've been all the way to the moon and back, but have trouble crossing the street to meet a new neighbor. We conquered outer space but not inner space. We've done larger things, but not better things. [<--too strong but we'll let it slide] We've cleaned up the air, but polluted the soul. We've conquered the atom, but not our prejudice. We write more, but learn less. We plan more, but accomplish less. We've learned to rush, but not to wait. We build more computers to hold more information, to produce more copies than ever, but we communicate less and less. These are the times of fast foods and slow digestion, big men and small character, steep profits and shallow relationships. These are the days of two incomes but more divorce, fancier houses, but broken homes. These are days of quick trips, disposable diapers, throwaway morality, one night stands, overweight bodies, and pills that do everything from cheer, to quiet, to kill. It is a time when there is much in the showroom window and nothing in the stockroom. A time when technology can bring this letter to you, and a time when you can choose either to share this insight, or to just hit delete... Remember; spend some time with your loved ones, because they are not going to be around forever. Remember, say a kind word to someone who looks up to you in awe, because that little person soon will grow up and leave your side. Remember, to give a warm hug to the one next to you, because that is the only treasure you can give with your heart and it doesn't cost a cent. Remember, to say, 'I love you' to your partner and your loved ones, but most of all mean it. A kiss and an embrace will mend hurt when it comes from deep inside of you. Remember to hold hands and cherish the moment for someday that person will not be there again. Give time to love, give time to speak! And give time to share the precious thoughts in your mind. AND ALWAYS REMEMBER: Life is not measured by the number of breaths we take, but by the moments that take our breath away." (- The Paradox of Our Time -)

Moving and Lessons Learned

It certainly has been a long while since I posted something new to "Radiant You!" I would have to look back, but the last time I put two words or more together for this blog was back in August. Since then, a lot has happened. Most significantly, I have moved from Minnesota to Colorado. I packed my 2000 Taurus and drove the 12 plus hours the first Friday of October. I would have made it all the way if a blizzard hadn't decided to shut down the freeways in Wyoming. I made it to Cheyenne, which is about 40 miles north of Fort Collins, which was my destination and now my home. Thank goodness for the Motel 6. A very economical rate, which gave me a warm place to rest my body for the night. The next day, I made it the rest of the way to Fort Collins. This is where I am now and I really do love it here. I have thought about other places I would like to be but with a few exceptions of Italy or Oregon or Washington State, I can't imagine a more heavenly place.

The other day I was remarking to a friend that whenever I put my focus on a particular place, I somehow end up there. It has happened all through my life, but the first time I really understood this was when I moved from North Carolina to Minnesota. Within two weeks time, I had sold all my big items and had tightly packed my reliable Taurus and was headed north.

Minnesota was wonderful for two years. I made some friends, loved someone very deeply, and I learned a lot about myself through the painful break-up of that relationship. The biggest lesson I learned is that I have to bring love of myself into a relationship of any kind for it to expand to others. It has been nearly two years since that time and I am so much better for experiencing all of it. So I thank her for what I learned and my hope is that she is happy with who she is as well.

People often ask me why Colorado and how did I get here? My smart-aleck remark to the latter question is "by car". After the rolling of eyes, I tell them that almost 30 years ago, I visited a friend in a small town a little south-east of here. Being that we were much younger, we spent a good portion of our time going from one party to the next. One day toward the end of my visit, we decided to go to Denver to party some more. On our way to the Mile High City, we made several stops along the way. One of the stops was to see Horsetooth Reservoir which is in Fort Collins. As we drove through the town, I thought to myself that it looked like a nice place to live and I would like to do that one day. Well it took almost 30 years but here I am. So, like I said earlier, where or what I put my focus on is where I end up. Be it a destination or a much needed lesson on self love, there I am.

So like so many of my posts, remember to focus on the good you have in your life but don't beat yourself up when things don't always go the way you want them to. Because it is a good bet that you are exactly where you need to be.

I send you all love!

Moving and Lessons Learned

It certainly has been a long while since I posted something new to "Radiant You!" I would have to look back, but the last time I put two words or more together for this blog was back in August. Since then, a lot has happened. Most significantly, I have moved from Minnesota to Colorado. I packed my 2000 Taurus and drove the 12 plus hours the first Friday of October. I would have made it all the way if a blizzard hadn't decided to shut down the freeways in Wyoming. I made it to Cheyenne, which is about 40 miles north of Fort Collins, which was my destination and now my home. Thank goodness for the Motel 6. A very economical rate, which gave me a warm place to rest my body for the night. The next day, I made it the rest of the way to Fort Collins. This is where I am now and I really do love it here. I have thought about other places I would like to be but with a few exceptions of Italy or Oregon or Washington State, I can't imagine a more heavenly place.

The other day I was remarking to a friend that whenever I put my focus on a particular place, I somehow end up there. It has happened all through my life, but the first time I really understood this was when I moved from North Carolina to Minnesota. Within two weeks time, I had sold all my big items and had tightly packed my reliable Taurus and was headed north.

Minnesota was wonderful for two years. I made some friends, loved someone very deeply, and I learned a lot about myself through the painful break-up of that relationship. The biggest lesson I learned is that I have to bring love of myself into a relationship of any kind for it to expand to others. It has been nearly two years since that time and I am so much better for experiencing all of it. So I thank her for what I learned and my hope is that she is happy with who she is as well.

People often ask me why Colorado and how did I get here? My smart-aleck remark to the latter question is "by car". After the rolling of eyes, I tell them that almost 30 years ago, I visited a friend in a small town a little south-east of here. Being that we were much younger, we spent a good portion of our time going from one party to the next. One day toward the end of my visit, we decided to go to Denver to party some more. On our way to the Mile High City, we made several stops along the way. One of the stops was to see Horsetooth Reservoir which is in Fort Collins. As we drove through the town, I thought to myself that it looked like a nice place to live and I would like to do that one day. Well it took almost 30 years but here I am. So, like I said earlier, where or what I put my focus on is where I end up. Be it a destination or a much needed lesson on self love, there I am.

So like so many of my posts, remember to focus on the good you have in your life but don't beat yourself up when things don't always go the way you want them to. Because it is a good bet that you are exactly where you need to be.

I send you all love!

Abt Me...

I Got This From A Interesting Webbie..
the web list down quite a lot of things to choose..
so here are some characterics that i choose to describes myself...

My personality:
-I am lame.
-I like to make my friends and family laugh because of me.
-I always had lame jokes in my "pocket".
-I like to be with the friends i wan to be with. (Husni, Cedric, Sam)
-I love my 25 laopos (Idols).
-I love WWE.
-I love Maria Kaneillis & Stacy Keibler.
-I love Power Rangers & Pokemon & Digimon & Doraemon & Crayon Shinchan.... etc.
-I love my family.
-I love MFB.
-I love playing & collecting Raw Deal cards.
-I dislikes noise.
-I dislikes backstabbers
-I dislikes people saying bad things about my family.
-I hate smokes.

Relationships:
-LOVE = Legs Opens Very Easily
-I dun trust anything or anyone about true love.
-I have been in a relationship for 1 time.
-I am scared of being hurt again.
-I believe there is love at first sight.
-I believe lust is more important than love.

Friendships:
-Cedric & Husni is my good friend + brother.
-I am lucky to have the MFB friends.
-My ITE friends are my treasures.
-I hand over my trust to all of them.
-I trust them all.
-Unless he does not worth having my trust.
-I laugh with all of them.

Experiences:
-I have been on stage singing.
-I been to a church.
-I have been on a plane.
-I won tournaments of Raw Deal Cards Games.
-I make new friends every month.
-I took taxi by myself.

Music:
-I buy cds when the artists is 1 of my laopos.
-I listen to chinese songs.
-I listen to english songs by chinese artists.
-I listen to koreans songs by snsd and taeyang.
-I listen to thai songs thanks to Cedric.
-I take from my friends or download most of my songs.

Dramas:
-currently hooked on 就想赖着你.
-loves 海派甜心 as well.
-loves 游戏人生 by 章镇祥 & 梁丽芳.
-I cry easily when the show is acting about family.

Family:
-I get along with my parents.
-I have a elder sister and a younger sister.
-I am the 2nd child in the family.
-I love them.
-I’ve lied to my parents before.
-I whack my sisters before.

School:
-Sometimes i love going to school.
-Most of the time, i hated going to school.
-My favourite teacher is Mr James Ching Kian Leng.
-My Best Friends In School Are Lim Peishan, Marcus Tang Jia Xiong, Png Xiang Hua, Sam Ong Shao Xian, Choo Wen Tang, Muhamad Safwan, Koh Kok Peng, Lester Neo, Soon Kai Siang, Eric Chua De Xing, Hing Siew Wing and Ong Meiyun.
-Jokes Are Always On Ronghui.
-Everyday must whack ronghui, unless he not in school.
-Hates Tests and Practical.
-Loves Teasing Ronghui.

My First Break (MFB):
-Likes Jan & Yvfynn.
-Likes Shanghai.
-Likes South East CDC.
-Likes all my friends over there.
-Likes spending times with all of them.
-Likes the ways they plan the programme.
-Likes the knowledges learned from yvfynn.
-Likes The Friendly Yvfynn.
-Dislikes The Fierce Yvfynn.
-Likes when the trainers say they are proud of me.
-Loves the memories with them.

National Service:
-HATE!
-NO MORE.