Monday, March 8, 2010

This entry's about fear and anxiety.
Since I love Muse theyre up first:

Thoughts of a Dying Atheist [2003]



I know the moment's near
and there's nothing we can do
look through a faithless eye
are you afraid to die?


Atheist fear death because there's nothing after it: The end is all I can see. It scarees the hell out of me.

I'm Scared by Duffy


This is about fear that arises from dealing with loss. It leaves you paralyzed when you realize how easily you can lose someone. Is it worth finding new love? [I always say it is (I mean, given that you've fought like there's no tomorrow for the love in jeopardy)]

Soldier On by The Temper Trap




This song is just beautiful. I have their other song from the same album, "Conditions" [2009] called Lost Love. The lyrics is so nice. In fact, too nice and inappropriate for this entry =). Maybe another time. I'm gonna post the entire lyrics to Soldier On. It actually get's better for me at 4:00 -- I know, quite a long song.

Who wants to know
All that is gold is rusting

No one will know
When seasons cease to change and..
How far we've gone
How far we're going
It's the here and the now
And the love for the sound
Of the moments that keep us moving

Waves crash along
The battered, lonely lighthouse
Tomorrow she's gone
And if not, someday somehow
Are these hands a waste
Well this side of mortality is
Scaring me to death
To death


Don't think about it at all
Just keep your head low
And don't think about it all

Soldier on, soldier on
Keep your heart close to the ground

Soldier on, soldier on, keep your heart
Close to the ground

Don't think about it all
Just keep your head low
Don't think about it
At all

Yeah, will you take me tonight
Yeah, will you take me tonight
Yeah, will you take me tonight
Ooh... tonight

Soldier on
Soldier on
Keep your heart
Close to the ground


Mortality--the idea that something will come to an end always scares and saddens us. Maybe it's something to grieve about, maybe it's not. Can't get my mind around to it atm although I know I have something I wanna say about it. All I can say for now is that yeah it's sad but obsessing about the end or transience won't change anything at the end of the day. If it comes, it comes. Are you trying your best to embrace whatever time is given to you? It's your fault if you let it slide and realize, shit, I'm almost dying or something.
I've come to see endpoints as startingpoints too the past year or two. I thought it was a good thing to not be so clingy and emo all the time, but sometimes it scares me that maybe I give up too easily and 'let things go' without trying much. It's hard to find balance =( At least I see beauty in short-lived things now though.

Leaving this with a little reminder by George Carlin since the obvious often escapes our mind:

"The paradox of our time in history is that we have taller buildings but
shorter tempers, wider freeways , but narrower viewpoints. We spend more,
but have less, we buy more, but enjoy less. We have bigger houses and
smaller families, more conveniences, but less time. We have more degrees
but less sense, more knowledge, but less judgment, more experts, yet more
problems, more medicine, but less wellness.
We drink too much, smoke too much, spend too recklessly, laugh too little,
drive too fast, get too angry, stay up too late, get up too tired, read too
little, watch TV too much, and pray too seldom. [<-- i'd personally revise this by switching the 'r' in 'pray' to 'l'--'play' =)] We have multiplied our possessions, but reduced our values. We talk too much, love too seldom, and hate too often. We've learned how to make a living, but not a life. We've added years to life not life to years. We've been all the way to the moon and back, but have trouble crossing the street to meet a new neighbor. We conquered outer space but not inner space. We've done larger things, but not better things. [<--too strong but we'll let it slide] We've cleaned up the air, but polluted the soul. We've conquered the atom, but not our prejudice. We write more, but learn less. We plan more, but accomplish less. We've learned to rush, but not to wait. We build more computers to hold more information, to produce more copies than ever, but we communicate less and less. These are the times of fast foods and slow digestion, big men and small character, steep profits and shallow relationships. These are the days of two incomes but more divorce, fancier houses, but broken homes. These are days of quick trips, disposable diapers, throwaway morality, one night stands, overweight bodies, and pills that do everything from cheer, to quiet, to kill. It is a time when there is much in the showroom window and nothing in the stockroom. A time when technology can bring this letter to you, and a time when you can choose either to share this insight, or to just hit delete... Remember; spend some time with your loved ones, because they are not going to be around forever. Remember, say a kind word to someone who looks up to you in awe, because that little person soon will grow up and leave your side. Remember, to give a warm hug to the one next to you, because that is the only treasure you can give with your heart and it doesn't cost a cent. Remember, to say, 'I love you' to your partner and your loved ones, but most of all mean it. A kiss and an embrace will mend hurt when it comes from deep inside of you. Remember to hold hands and cherish the moment for someday that person will not be there again. Give time to love, give time to speak! And give time to share the precious thoughts in your mind. AND ALWAYS REMEMBER: Life is not measured by the number of breaths we take, but by the moments that take our breath away." (- The Paradox of Our Time -)


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